Continuing on from my last post here are some tips to help you stop playing the Blame Game.

First, write down what is going on, not just superficially, but at a deeper level: write out the history, background, context and situation. Write out only facts and avoid making emotional statements. What stops you? What has power over you? If it helps, write everything in the third person as if you are watching the situation on TV.

Once you’ve written that all out, ask yourself what the situation described is trying to achieve. Note this down.

Finally, take specific notice of the relationships within the situation. What is going on between the players? Write these observations down as well.

Now that we’ve done the research, we can shift our attention to make the change and get better results. We do this essentially by asking two questions;

First, ask yourself what do you want instead? Write down this answer.

Second, ask what changes do you need to make to achieve this result? Write this down as well.

If you don’t know how to answer step two, The Butterfly Life Transformation Program will help you. It will also help you in many other aspects of your life.

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Playing the blame game.

March 11, 2008

Have you ever heard yourself make a statement like:

It’s not my fault I’m fat…
… I have big bones.
… It’s genetic.
… I’m addicted to food.
… I can’t stop eating.
… I’m out of control.
… I’ve tried everything and nothing works.
… I don’t have the time.
… I’m too stressed.
… I have to focus more on my job, my family, my whatever.
… I’ve got an injury.
… I have a chemical imbalance.
… I’ve got an emotional, psychological, physical disorder.
… I’m having an emotional time.
… My partner left me.
… My cat died.
… It’s a bad hair day.
–Insert your favorite excuse here–

Unfortunately, the more you blame someone or something the less ability to respond you have. And what they really means is as long as you keep blaming others (or even yourself) you’ll fail to lose weight.

You can lose the weight you want. You can have the body you desire. You just have to stop blaming others and take action now.

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