Which voice do you listen to?

September 23, 2008

Imagine you are having a conversation with two people. Both are your very good friends. You trust them both fully.

As you listen to them talking you hear the following:

Friend1: “You’re thin.”
Friend2: “You’re fat.”
Friend1: “You’ve pretty.”
Friend2: “You’re ugly.”
Friend1: “You’ve got great hair.”
Friend2: “You’ve got rubbish hair.”
Friend1: “You have great dress sense.”
Friend2: “Your dress sense is bad.”
Friend1: “You’re a good person.”
Friend2: “You’re a bad person.”

Which of these two is telling the truth? Who do you listen to more?

Now I know, if you had a friend like #2, you wouldn’t stay friends for very long. Yet many people I’ve worked with have internal voices that only speak this way. If you’re friends did this, you’d change friends fast – yet because it’s your own internal voice you keep it around.

It’s common that we listen to the one that tells us we’re fat, ugly etc. The other voices that tell us we are beautiful get ignored. When we do listen to these, what they say rings false – not because it is false, but because it’s what we don’t listen to often enough.

If you want to learn how to change these voices Join the Butterfly Transformation Program. You’ll learn how these voices effect you, where they come from and most importatly how to change them…


I’m a big believer in what we do is who we are. That’s why I encourage you to watch this video.

The presenter, Anne Cooper, is talking about feeding school children in America. It will open your eyes to how adults treat food. And more importantly what this is teaching our kids about food.

Watch it, and think about what your own relationship with food is teaching the children and adults around you – even if you’re not a parent.

(It seems wordpress strips out the embedded video. You can find it here.)

Now think about your own upbringing; what did your parents teach you through their behaviour? Do you have to eat everything on your plate? Were you sent to bed without dinner? Was food always available? Were you scolded for eating outside regular meal times? Did you have to steal or hide food?

Have you ever had the experience of setting a goal, being committed and still not achieving it?

The goal might be to lose weight, get fit, shape your hips, change your thoughts, make more money, find a partner or anything else. The goals could be anything at all. If you’ve only just started the Butterfly Transformation Program you’ll already know how important setting goals are.

One of the best ways to reach your goals is to remove the procrastination, fear, emotional turmoil and apprehension associated with them. This most likely will be hidden fears, that you might not even know you have. The only way you can know that the fears are there, is when you set a goal and don’t reach it.

There are many things that can be done to clear out these old, unneeded fears. One really good way is by asking specific questions. The following 8 will help you uncover these fears:

  1. What do you want?
  2. How do you know you have it?
  3. What would you if it didn’t mean anything if you didn’t get it?
  4. What would you want if it didn’t mean anything about you?
  5. What would you want if you were guaranteed you would get it?
  6. What would you want if you knew you couldn’t fail?
  7. What would you want if it was ok to fail?
  8. What would you see, hear, feel to let you know that you got everything you wanted?

Sit down with a pen and paper and honestly answer these question. Sometimes, just identifying the hidden fears will allow you to overcome them. Other times you might need something a little more. I’ll talk on this more in the future…