Do you have one or do you want one, but don’t think you’ll be able to keep it?

Do you have a target? How much weight do you want to lose, or do you just want to change your body shape?

What timeframe have you set to make those changes?

Those things, on December 31st, are critically important to know. But making those choices are the easy part. The real challenge comes from every day when you are faced with the choices within your life and you choose the option that follows the path to achieve this goal.

This is why so many people fail at keeping their New Years resolutions. They make the resolution easily, but doing what’s required is too hard.

Don’t be one of the people that are unable to stay with their goals alone. Join us in the Butterfly Transformation 30 day Program. We can help you choose, start and stick with your goals!

The reason we fail

December 24, 2009

The new year is almost on us. With the coming new year comes the inevitable new years resolution. Will this years be the same as last years?

So are we set up and are dedicated to losing weight in 2010, just like we did in 2009, and 2008, and maybe even 2007. How come we failed? What are the chances of failing again this year? Maybe you won’t even bother this time because you expect to fail. What a shame that is.

If we find our goals difficult, be they new years resolutions or just a daily goal to get some exercise it’s because we under estimate the time it will take to achieve and over estimate the ease of achieving it. Think back to the goals you didn’t achieve and I’m sure you’ll discover this.

The only reason you can fail a goal, is to set a timeframe. Isn’t having the body you want worth spending the rest of your life for? You have to spend it in your body, what better way than in a body you enjoy being in? Imagine how good it will feel when you can look at yourself naked in the mirror and smile? Or how good it might feel when someone else looks at you in just that way when you’re dressed up for a party?

As the Butterfly Transformation Program describes, setting goals doesn’t have to be difficult. To set a realistic goal, and sticking to it, only takes effort to do one step or one day at a time.

The purpose of exercise

December 17, 2009

There are many little bits of knowledge I teach to those that will listen. One that comes up again and again is the purpose of exercise.

The purpose of exercise is not to burn calories. Life is not meant to be an endless struggle to expel the more calories than you take in.

The purpose of exercise is to enjoy moving your body.

Suddenly, the idea of exercise stops being about the joyless fight against calories and becomes actual fun. Something you want to do, not something you should do. (In the Program, I talk a lot about things that we ‘should’ do, and how destructive they are to your goals)

As you move your body, your body naturally adjusts to help move your body in that way. If you ride a bike, your body shapes itself to help you ride a bike. In addition, the more active you are, the more active you want to be.

Exercise is a side effect of being alive and healthy, not something that’s tacked on when you’re in the mood and have the time. It’s something that you want to do, and feel lacking when you skip it.

The question then becomes; what’s stopping you from being active?

Not enough willpower?

October 1, 2009

Recent research suggests that maybe you have too much!

To save you the trouble of reading it, I’ll summarise: They suggest the best way to deal with eating (drinking, smoking or other addictive behaviour you’re trying to stop) is to avoid situations that tempt you.

When I was helping smokers, many had difficulty when they went out for a drink with friends. The environment made it very difficult to resist the urge. While at other times, there was no urge to smoke. This holds with eating, and everything else.

If you think you have strong willpower, the research suggests that you overestimate your ability to resist the temptation. In short – stay away from tempting situations!

The article also goes onto to suggest that if you’re not hungry, you overestimate your ability to resist temptation. So again, avoid walking into the cake shop will vastly improve your chances when compared to using willpower to resist the cakes.

Of course, if you’ve joined the program, you’ll already know that I don’t believe we can change using willpower, anyway.

As humans, we are really bad as estimating how we’ll feel emotionally after we do something.

Most people expect that when they win the lottery, their life will be much better. They’ll be much happier, enjoy life more, have better friends, live in a nicer house, drive a better car…

And yet, most people that win the lottery end up spending all their winnings inside 5 years. They end up being in more debt, and having less friends and more problems. I’m sure you think you’re different.

The thing is, you’re thinking that you’ll be different is the exact same thinking that will ensure you’ll spend it all!

But I know you don’t believe me. So rather than just writing my writings off as fantasy, do you believe I’m wrong enough to prove to me that I’m wrong?

Here’s a simple test that will prove me wrong (or right) if you do it. For the next few days, write down on a scale of 1 to 10 how you’ll feel after your next meal before you eat it. 1 being the worst ever, 10 being the best ever. Then when you’ve finished the meal write down the number that it actually was using the same scale.

I dare you, prove me wrong.

P.S. Apologies to anyone who’s gone through the Butterfly Transformation Program. They know that me being right or wrong is about as useful as you being right or wrong. To give those who’ve not done the program a hint, that usefulness is almost zero.

Scared of being thin?

August 29, 2009

One of my old client weighed over 110 kilos. She hated it. She worked hard to lose the weight, and did. Yet every time she dropped to around 90kg, she suddenly rebounded and put all the weight back on. She did this several times, causing much frustration, anger, confusion and sadness.

It wasn’t utill a chance comment that we discovered the problem. Whenever she was approaching the 90 kg mark, her body fat had dropped to a level where her natural curves and muscles were beginning to show through. Because of that, she had to change her clothes and with the change of clothes came a very big change of looks.

This was all superb for her. Everyone around her was excited for her and complimented her on how good she looked. Including strange men.

And that was the problem, suddenly she was attracting a whole bunch of unwanted attention. And she only had one method to deal with and respond to that unwanted attention: Put the weight back on!

Once we realised this was the case, she quickly learnt new ways to deal with the unwanted attention, and next time she went through that 90kg mark and last I heard has kept it off.

This is just one of  many examples of how someone might be scared of being thin.

They don’t mean to be scared and they often they don’t even realise that this is a major factor in stopping them from losing the weight.

If you’re overweight, you interact with the world in a very different way than if you’re thin. And if you’ve been overweight for a long time, there is more things that you need to learn. Things that no one else can teach you.

Stick it in your mouth

July 21, 2009

Are you stuck with the desire to eat and eat? Do you find yourself eating too many bad things, and not enough good things? Do you eat good things, until you have a bad day, and then all your good work is out the window?

This is more common that you think, and if you have difficulty shifting this behaviour, it might be because of the conditioning you received as you grew up.

How often do you see a baby that begins to cry be soothed or ‘pacified’ by a bottle or dummy? You know from your own experience that when that baby cries, most likely it’s after food and food is presented soon afterwards.

A little later in life, say about the age of 2 or 3, what I like to call the ‘food battles’ start. Things like brussle sprouts are refused, things like lollies, cookies and other sweets are coveted. Most parents I’ve seen or heard of, often use the sweets as a bribe to eat the sprouts.

A little later in life, say about the age of 6 onwards, punishment and rewards are now firmly set with food. If you’re a good girl you’ll get a cookie. If you’re a bad boy you get sent to bed without dinner.

Years of training go into this. These time honored methods work and work well. They train the child many things that are useful in later life. And in some cases enable that child to get to later life (imagine a baby that got to eat only whatever it wanted). The results are consistent: The child grows up healthy. But as an unwanted side effect: We like sweet and ‘bad for us’ food, we hate the peas, sprouts, and other ‘good for us’ foods. So with these side effects, is it any wonder some of us have eating problems and find dieting difficult?

You can overcome this conditioning. With attention, focus, and the right training, it’s easy to notice the past conditioning and re-condition yourself for better results.

P.S. Now, this is not an opportunity to blame your parents for your current situation. You have to remember, every single parent that ever lived, is an amateur. Even the most skilled parents, have raised only a few children. Your parents did the best they could at that time, and now it’s up to you to thank them for what they gave you, work with it, and learn and grow so you can raise your own children better.

Whenever you start a diet, exercise program or enact a new diet you don’t ever know where it’ll lead you.

You might achieve the results you want when you started out. On the other hand you might not achieve any. You might get some, but not others.

This is pretty much common sense, right? But whenever we start, we seem to forget that the future is never set in stone. We are so attached to our outcome, it’s easy to forget that fact in the process of change.

In the program, I use the below phrase to remind everyone (myself included) that we never know what will happen tomorrow:

“There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it will be a butterfly.”

The last step of the exercise designed to teach you how a single word change can powerfully change your response to you keeping your diet or exercise program. Find Step 1step 2, and step 3.

Take the list from the last step (repeated below) and read them one line as a time as if your mother, your partner, your boss, your best friend, your children or someone else important in your life were saying them to you.

Notice how they make you feel as each one is said.

  1. You wish to Lose the weight.
  2. You would like to Lose the weight.
  3. You want to Lose the weight.
  4. You need to Lose the weight.
  5. You have to Lose the weight.
  6. You can Lose the weight.
  7. You must Lose the weight.
  8. You will Lose the weight.
  9. You am going to Lose the weight.
  10. You should Lose the weight.
  11. You don’t wish to Lose the weight.
  12. You wouldn’t like to Lose the weight.
  13. You don’t want to Lose the weight.
  14. You needn’t to Lose the weight.
  15. You haven’t Lost the weight.
  16. You can’t Lose the weight.
  17. You mustn’t Lose the weight.
  18. You will not Lose the weight.
  19. You’re not going to Lose the weight.
  20. You shouldn’t Lose the weight.

Do you hear these from those around you often? Do any of them make you angry, sad, depressed?

You might notice that some of these have no effect when you say them to yourself, but cause a massive emotional change when you imagine someone else saying them to you!

This time, not changing the words, but changing who says them can cause all kinds of changes!

Join the program if you want to learn how to change your responses!

One more step in the exercise that started here and continued here.

This time, read out the below list (a modified copy made from the last two) while you look at yourself in the mirror and say these sentences as if you were saying them to someone else.

  1. You wish to Lose the weight.
  2. You would like to Lose the weight.
  3. You want to Lose the weight.
  4. You need to Lose the weight.
  5. You have to Lose the weight.
  6. You can Lose the weight.
  7. You must Lose the weight.
  8. You will Lose the weight.
  9. You am going to Lose the weight.
  10. You should Lose the weight.
  11. You don’t wish to Lose the weight.
  12. You wouldn’t like to Lose the weight.
  13. You don’t want to Lose the weight.
  14. You needn’t to Lose the weight.
  15. You haven’t Lost the weight.
  16. You can’t Lose the weight.
  17. You mustn’t Lose the weight.
  18. You will not Lose the weight.
  19. You’re not going to Lose the weight.
  20. You shouldn’t Lose the weight.

Notice how saying them to someone else makes you feel. Were there any that were difficult to say? Were there any you say often, or hear often?