Stick it in your mouth

July 21, 2009

Are you stuck with the desire to eat and eat? Do you find yourself eating too many bad things, and not enough good things? Do you eat good things, until you have a bad day, and then all your good work is out the window?

This is more common that you think, and if you have difficulty shifting this behaviour, it might be because of the conditioning you received as you grew up.

How often do you see a baby that begins to cry be soothed or ‘pacified’ by a bottle or dummy? You know from your own experience that when that baby cries, most likely it’s after food and food is presented soon afterwards.

A little later in life, say about the age of 2 or 3, what I like to call the ‘food battles’ start. Things like brussle sprouts are refused, things like lollies, cookies and other sweets are coveted. Most parents I’ve seen or heard of, often use the sweets as a bribe to eat the sprouts.

A little later in life, say about the age of 6 onwards, punishment and rewards are now firmly set with food. If you’re a good girl you’ll get a cookie. If you’re a bad boy you get sent to bed without dinner.

Years of training go into this. These time honored methods work and work well. They train the child many things that are useful in later life. And in some cases enable that child to get to later life (imagine a baby that got to eat only whatever it wanted). The results are consistent: The child grows up healthy. But as an unwanted side effect: We like sweet and ‘bad for us’ food, we hate the peas, sprouts, and other ‘good for us’ foods. So with these side effects, is it any wonder some of us have eating problems and find dieting difficult?

You can overcome this conditioning. With attention, focus, and the right training, it’s easy to notice the past conditioning and re-condition yourself for better results.

P.S. Now, this is not an opportunity to blame your parents for your current situation. You have to remember, every single parent that ever lived, is an amateur. Even the most skilled parents, have raised only a few children. Your parents did the best they could at that time, and now it’s up to you to thank them for what they gave you, work with it, and learn and grow so you can raise your own children better.

No pill, no diet, no exercise, no surgery, no nothing can make you thin.

There is only one single thing that can cause the changes you want. That one thing is you.

First: Make the committed decision to achieve the goals
Second: Act on what you know right now.
Third: Discover what skills, abilities or knowledge that you lack and find out how to get them.

You are the one in control, always. Even if you think you’re not. That might be hard for some readers to accept. If you are one of those readers that think your weight is out of your control, then you either need to accept you’ll stay the weight you are now (or worse) or join Butterfly Transformation Program.

Whenever you start a diet, exercise program or enact a new diet you don’t ever know where it’ll lead you.

You might achieve the results you want when you started out. On the other hand you might not achieve any. You might get some, but not others.

This is pretty much common sense, right? But whenever we start, we seem to forget that the future is never set in stone. We are so attached to our outcome, it’s easy to forget that fact in the process of change.

In the program, I use the below phrase to remind everyone (myself included) that we never know what will happen tomorrow:

“There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it will be a butterfly.”

The last step of the exercise designed to teach you how a single word change can powerfully change your response to you keeping your diet or exercise program. Find Step 1step 2, and step 3.

Take the list from the last step (repeated below) and read them one line as a time as if your mother, your partner, your boss, your best friend, your children or someone else important in your life were saying them to you.

Notice how they make you feel as each one is said.

  1. You wish to Lose the weight.
  2. You would like to Lose the weight.
  3. You want to Lose the weight.
  4. You need to Lose the weight.
  5. You have to Lose the weight.
  6. You can Lose the weight.
  7. You must Lose the weight.
  8. You will Lose the weight.
  9. You am going to Lose the weight.
  10. You should Lose the weight.
  11. You don’t wish to Lose the weight.
  12. You wouldn’t like to Lose the weight.
  13. You don’t want to Lose the weight.
  14. You needn’t to Lose the weight.
  15. You haven’t Lost the weight.
  16. You can’t Lose the weight.
  17. You mustn’t Lose the weight.
  18. You will not Lose the weight.
  19. You’re not going to Lose the weight.
  20. You shouldn’t Lose the weight.

Do you hear these from those around you often? Do any of them make you angry, sad, depressed?

You might notice that some of these have no effect when you say them to yourself, but cause a massive emotional change when you imagine someone else saying them to you!

This time, not changing the words, but changing who says them can cause all kinds of changes!

Join the program if you want to learn how to change your responses!

One more step in the exercise that started here and continued here.

This time, read out the below list (a modified copy made from the last two) while you look at yourself in the mirror and say these sentences as if you were saying them to someone else.

  1. You wish to Lose the weight.
  2. You would like to Lose the weight.
  3. You want to Lose the weight.
  4. You need to Lose the weight.
  5. You have to Lose the weight.
  6. You can Lose the weight.
  7. You must Lose the weight.
  8. You will Lose the weight.
  9. You am going to Lose the weight.
  10. You should Lose the weight.
  11. You don’t wish to Lose the weight.
  12. You wouldn’t like to Lose the weight.
  13. You don’t want to Lose the weight.
  14. You needn’t to Lose the weight.
  15. You haven’t Lost the weight.
  16. You can’t Lose the weight.
  17. You mustn’t Lose the weight.
  18. You will not Lose the weight.
  19. You’re not going to Lose the weight.
  20. You shouldn’t Lose the weight.

Notice how saying them to someone else makes you feel. Were there any that were difficult to say? Were there any you say often, or hear often?

Following on from this earlier post, there are many more words that have powerful effects on your feelings and your results when trying to lose weight, stick with a diet or exercise program, or just to feel good.

All of these words revolve around a tiny little three letter word that causes horrific hardship, anguish and pain. That little word is ‘not’.

So, like the last post, say these sentences out loud and discover for yourself how each of them make you feel

  1. I don’t wish to Lose the weight.
  2. I wouldn’t like to Lose the weight.
  3. I don’t want to Lose the weight.
  4. I needn’t to Lose the weight.
  5. I haven’t Lost the weight.
  6. I can’t Lose the weight.
  7. I mustn’t Lose the weight.
  8. I will not Lose the weight.
  9. I’m not going to Lose the weight.
  10. I shouldn’t Lose the weight.

(If you want, feel free to exchange the phrase ‘Lose the weight’ with the goal of your choice.)

How do each of them make you feel as you say them out loud? Compare that with last weeks post. What are you saying to yourself or others that cause this much negative emotion?

If you’re part of the program, you’ll know that words are very important. Today I’m going to get you to do an experiment to discover how important different words are for you.

It’s easy, it’ll take you maybe a minute and yet teach you a powerful lesson that can help you lose weight, be fit and healthy.

Say this sentence out loud: “Lose the weight.”

Notice how that makes you feel. If you’re like most people, it won’t have too much feeling.

Now, say that same sentence, but this time begin with each line below, one at a time, and notice how they change how you feel.

  1. I wish to Lose the weight.
  2. I would like to Lose the weight.
  3. I want to Lose the weight.
  4. I need to Lose the weight.
  5. I have to Lose the weight.
  6. I can Lose the weight.
  7. I must Lose the weight.
  8. I will Lose the weight.
  9. I am going to Lose the weight.
  10. I should Lose the weight.

How does each of the 10 sentences make you feel as you say them out loud? Were some more compelling? Did some make you angry, or sad? Did some seem more or less real?

Isn’t it powerfully interesting that a single word change can have such a huge effect to your emotional response?

Which are the phrases or words that you most use youself when describing what you desire to other people? Which do you most use when saying things to yourself?

Quotable quotes

October 27, 2008

“There is nothing in a catapillar that tells you it will be a butterfly”
– Buckminster Fullar

Which voice do you listen to?

September 23, 2008

Imagine you are having a conversation with two people. Both are your very good friends. You trust them both fully.

As you listen to them talking you hear the following:

Friend1: “You’re thin.”
Friend2: “You’re fat.”
Friend1: “You’ve pretty.”
Friend2: “You’re ugly.”
Friend1: “You’ve got great hair.”
Friend2: “You’ve got rubbish hair.”
Friend1: “You have great dress sense.”
Friend2: “Your dress sense is bad.”
Friend1: “You’re a good person.”
Friend2: “You’re a bad person.”

Which of these two is telling the truth? Who do you listen to more?

Now I know, if you had a friend like #2, you wouldn’t stay friends for very long. Yet many people I’ve worked with have internal voices that only speak this way. If you’re friends did this, you’d change friends fast – yet because it’s your own internal voice you keep it around.

It’s common that we listen to the one that tells us we’re fat, ugly etc. The other voices that tell us we are beautiful get ignored. When we do listen to these, what they say rings false – not because it is false, but because it’s what we don’t listen to often enough.

If you want to learn how to change these voices Join the Butterfly Transformation Program. You’ll learn how these voices effect you, where they come from and most importatly how to change them…

I’m a big believer in what we do is who we are. That’s why I encourage you to watch this video.

The presenter, Anne Cooper, is talking about feeding school children in America. It will open your eyes to how adults treat food. And more importantly what this is teaching our kids about food.

Watch it, and think about what your own relationship with food is teaching the children and adults around you – even if you’re not a parent.

(It seems wordpress strips out the embedded video. You can find it here.)

Now think about your own upbringing; what did your parents teach you through their behaviour? Do you have to eat everything on your plate? Were you sent to bed without dinner? Was food always available? Were you scolded for eating outside regular meal times? Did you have to steal or hide food?