Do you have one or do you want one, but don’t think you’ll be able to keep it?

Do you have a target? How much weight do you want to lose, or do you just want to change your body shape?

What timeframe have you set to make those changes?

Those things, on December 31st, are critically important to know. But making those choices are the easy part. The real challenge comes from every day when you are faced with the choices within your life and you choose the option that follows the path to achieve this goal.

This is why so many people fail at keeping their New Years resolutions. They make the resolution easily, but doing what’s required is too hard.

Don’t be one of the people that are unable to stay with their goals alone. Join us in the Butterfly Transformation 30 day Program. We can help you choose, start and stick with your goals!

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Not enough willpower?

October 1, 2009

Recent research suggests that maybe you have too much!

To save you the trouble of reading it, I’ll summarise: They suggest the best way to deal with eating (drinking, smoking or other addictive behaviour you’re trying to stop) is to avoid situations that tempt you.

When I was helping smokers, many had difficulty when they went out for a drink with friends. The environment made it very difficult to resist the urge. While at other times, there was no urge to smoke. This holds with eating, and everything else.

If you think you have strong willpower, the research suggests that you overestimate your ability to resist the temptation. In short – stay away from tempting situations!

The article also goes onto to suggest that if you’re not hungry, you overestimate your ability to resist temptation. So again, avoid walking into the cake shop will vastly improve your chances when compared to using willpower to resist the cakes.

Of course, if you’ve joined the program, you’ll already know that I don’t believe we can change using willpower, anyway.

Setting goals are easy…

September 17, 2009

… it’s the follow through that’s difficult.

I know some of the readers here don’t set goals – and the only reason you don’t is that you don’t want to fail. I understand this. I know how difficult, hard, destabalising, unbalancing and depressing not achieving a goal is. So to save us that pain, we don’t set them.

That doesn’t make it ok to not get what we want, it just makes it less painful.

There are many books, many programs, many recordings out there to help you set goals. I also spend quite a bit of time in my Butterfly Transformation Program on goal setting, including the main keys to ensure you overcome the difficult parts – like getting up early, exercising and making the correct food choices – easily.

One of the keys to make sure you reach your goals is to understand that the only way you can fail is to stop. You may not reach the target in the timeframe you set and there may or may not be some good reasons. Either way the only way you’ll fail is if you then stop.

Think about this next time you get frustrated because you didn’t achieve your goal.

As humans, we are really bad as estimating how we’ll feel emotionally after we do something.

Most people expect that when they win the lottery, their life will be much better. They’ll be much happier, enjoy life more, have better friends, live in a nicer house, drive a better car…

And yet, most people that win the lottery end up spending all their winnings inside 5 years. They end up being in more debt, and having less friends and more problems. I’m sure you think you’re different.

The thing is, you’re thinking that you’ll be different is the exact same thinking that will ensure you’ll spend it all!

But I know you don’t believe me. So rather than just writing my writings off as fantasy, do you believe I’m wrong enough to prove to me that I’m wrong?

Here’s a simple test that will prove me wrong (or right) if you do it. For the next few days, write down on a scale of 1 to 10 how you’ll feel after your next meal before you eat it. 1 being the worst ever, 10 being the best ever. Then when you’ve finished the meal write down the number that it actually was using the same scale.

I dare you, prove me wrong.

P.S. Apologies to anyone who’s gone through the Butterfly Transformation Program. They know that me being right or wrong is about as useful as you being right or wrong. To give those who’ve not done the program a hint, that usefulness is almost zero.

The last step of the exercise designed to teach you how a single word change can powerfully change your response to you keeping your diet or exercise program. Find Step 1step 2, and step 3.

Take the list from the last step (repeated below) and read them one line as a time as if your mother, your partner, your boss, your best friend, your children or someone else important in your life were saying them to you.

Notice how they make you feel as each one is said.

  1. You wish to Lose the weight.
  2. You would like to Lose the weight.
  3. You want to Lose the weight.
  4. You need to Lose the weight.
  5. You have to Lose the weight.
  6. You can Lose the weight.
  7. You must Lose the weight.
  8. You will Lose the weight.
  9. You am going to Lose the weight.
  10. You should Lose the weight.
  11. You don’t wish to Lose the weight.
  12. You wouldn’t like to Lose the weight.
  13. You don’t want to Lose the weight.
  14. You needn’t to Lose the weight.
  15. You haven’t Lost the weight.
  16. You can’t Lose the weight.
  17. You mustn’t Lose the weight.
  18. You will not Lose the weight.
  19. You’re not going to Lose the weight.
  20. You shouldn’t Lose the weight.

Do you hear these from those around you often? Do any of them make you angry, sad, depressed?

You might notice that some of these have no effect when you say them to yourself, but cause a massive emotional change when you imagine someone else saying them to you!

This time, not changing the words, but changing who says them can cause all kinds of changes!

Join the program if you want to learn how to change your responses!

One more step in the exercise that started here and continued here.

This time, read out the below list (a modified copy made from the last two) while you look at yourself in the mirror and say these sentences as if you were saying them to someone else.

  1. You wish to Lose the weight.
  2. You would like to Lose the weight.
  3. You want to Lose the weight.
  4. You need to Lose the weight.
  5. You have to Lose the weight.
  6. You can Lose the weight.
  7. You must Lose the weight.
  8. You will Lose the weight.
  9. You am going to Lose the weight.
  10. You should Lose the weight.
  11. You don’t wish to Lose the weight.
  12. You wouldn’t like to Lose the weight.
  13. You don’t want to Lose the weight.
  14. You needn’t to Lose the weight.
  15. You haven’t Lost the weight.
  16. You can’t Lose the weight.
  17. You mustn’t Lose the weight.
  18. You will not Lose the weight.
  19. You’re not going to Lose the weight.
  20. You shouldn’t Lose the weight.

Notice how saying them to someone else makes you feel. Were there any that were difficult to say? Were there any you say often, or hear often?

Following on from this earlier post, there are many more words that have powerful effects on your feelings and your results when trying to lose weight, stick with a diet or exercise program, or just to feel good.

All of these words revolve around a tiny little three letter word that causes horrific hardship, anguish and pain. That little word is ‘not’.

So, like the last post, say these sentences out loud and discover for yourself how each of them make you feel

  1. I don’t wish to Lose the weight.
  2. I wouldn’t like to Lose the weight.
  3. I don’t want to Lose the weight.
  4. I needn’t to Lose the weight.
  5. I haven’t Lost the weight.
  6. I can’t Lose the weight.
  7. I mustn’t Lose the weight.
  8. I will not Lose the weight.
  9. I’m not going to Lose the weight.
  10. I shouldn’t Lose the weight.

(If you want, feel free to exchange the phrase ‘Lose the weight’ with the goal of your choice.)

How do each of them make you feel as you say them out loud? Compare that with last weeks post. What are you saying to yourself or others that cause this much negative emotion?

If you’re part of the program, you’ll know that words are very important. Today I’m going to get you to do an experiment to discover how important different words are for you.

It’s easy, it’ll take you maybe a minute and yet teach you a powerful lesson that can help you lose weight, be fit and healthy.

Say this sentence out loud: “Lose the weight.”

Notice how that makes you feel. If you’re like most people, it won’t have too much feeling.

Now, say that same sentence, but this time begin with each line below, one at a time, and notice how they change how you feel.

  1. I wish to Lose the weight.
  2. I would like to Lose the weight.
  3. I want to Lose the weight.
  4. I need to Lose the weight.
  5. I have to Lose the weight.
  6. I can Lose the weight.
  7. I must Lose the weight.
  8. I will Lose the weight.
  9. I am going to Lose the weight.
  10. I should Lose the weight.

How does each of the 10 sentences make you feel as you say them out loud? Were some more compelling? Did some make you angry, or sad? Did some seem more or less real?

Isn’t it powerfully interesting that a single word change can have such a huge effect to your emotional response?

Which are the phrases or words that you most use youself when describing what you desire to other people? Which do you most use when saying things to yourself?

I’m a big believer in what we do is who we are. That’s why I encourage you to watch this video.

The presenter, Anne Cooper, is talking about feeding school children in America. It will open your eyes to how adults treat food. And more importantly what this is teaching our kids about food.

Watch it, and think about what your own relationship with food is teaching the children and adults around you – even if you’re not a parent.

(It seems wordpress strips out the embedded video. You can find it here.)

Now think about your own upbringing; what did your parents teach you through their behaviour? Do you have to eat everything on your plate? Were you sent to bed without dinner? Was food always available? Were you scolded for eating outside regular meal times? Did you have to steal or hide food?

Have you ever had the experience of setting a goal, being committed and still not achieving it?

The goal might be to lose weight, get fit, shape your hips, change your thoughts, make more money, find a partner or anything else. The goals could be anything at all. If you’ve only just started the Butterfly Transformation Program you’ll already know how important setting goals are.

One of the best ways to reach your goals is to remove the procrastination, fear, emotional turmoil and apprehension associated with them. This most likely will be hidden fears, that you might not even know you have. The only way you can know that the fears are there, is when you set a goal and don’t reach it.

There are many things that can be done to clear out these old, unneeded fears. One really good way is by asking specific questions. The following 8 will help you uncover these fears:

  1. What do you want?
  2. How do you know you have it?
  3. What would you if it didn’t mean anything if you didn’t get it?
  4. What would you want if it didn’t mean anything about you?
  5. What would you want if you were guaranteed you would get it?
  6. What would you want if you knew you couldn’t fail?
  7. What would you want if it was ok to fail?
  8. What would you see, hear, feel to let you know that you got everything you wanted?

Sit down with a pen and paper and honestly answer these question. Sometimes, just identifying the hidden fears will allow you to overcome them. Other times you might need something a little more. I’ll talk on this more in the future…